I have been very interested in different healing modalities for as long as I can remember. I have learned Reiki, a form of hands-on energy healing. I have studied herbalism. I have trained in bodywork – massage, trigger point therapy and myofascial release. All of these have added to my own understanding of the body and how things work. However, my work was sometimes effective, sometimes not.
I wondered why.
I tried harder. By that I mean trying to make someone feel better, Trying to make a muscle relax and release. Using my will to bring a person back to where I thought they should be.
And reading this I can see how ridiculous that sounds. But that is what my mind decided to do about it.
In school I was taught, or maybe trained, to use my mind. That the mind was the all-powerful master and the body just followed it around. It I worked on someone, my hands were on them and making the changes, but my mind was the controlling force. If I could not find an answer in my mind, then the answer did not exist. The mind was simply the only power, all that was. So that is all I ever attempted to use.
Then one day my own son was feeling very sick. He had a headache and a stomachache that came and went with a great intensity. He would feel okay, and then a moment later he would be moaning and closing his eyes, curled up on the couch. I placed my hands on him, holding him, rubbing his back, massaging his neck and head. I did not feel like anything I did was really helping him. I could not touch his pain.
So I gave up trying, and I closed my eyes and just lightly placed my hands on his forehead. I completely let go and just envisioned energy coming through my heart center and running down my arms, out through my hands and into him. I stopped judging what I was doing, released all intellectual reasoning, and simply stayed with him, feeling this heart place, with pure love flowing out through me.
And the heart, I realized, was a portal. It was not just my love coming through, but a gateway that opened out into an endless, universal love. A tremendous force of creation and manifestation and healing, unbound by the limits of time or dimension or mortal form.
His suffering eased. His eyes closed. Gradually, he feel asleep. However, I didn’t notice this at first because I was not accessing him and where he was. I was just with him, both of us surrounded by this beautiful heart place. He slept for some time and I rested with him. When he woke later he was feeling much better.
And so was I . In learning to let go, something greater than I ever could have managed through the power and will of the mind had occurred.